What to Ask a Funeral Home: A Guide to Your First Call

You do not need to know exactly what kind of funeral you want before calling a funeral home. You can begin by explaining your situation, asking what needs attention first, and requesting information about services and prices.

Whether you are planning ahead or someone has recently died, that first conversation can simply be a place to gather information. You are allowed to have questions. You are also allowed to say, “I’m not sure yet.”

How to start the conversation

If you are finding it difficult to begin, a few plain words are enough. If someone has died: “I’m calling because someone in my family has died, and I need help understanding the next steps.” If you are preparing in advance: “I’m looking into arrangements for a family member. We haven’t made all the decisions yet, but I’d like to understand our options.”

Share what you know. If there are written wishes, existing arrangements, or religious or cultural practices that matter, mention them. You can ask which other details the funeral home needs, and when it needs them.

If it would help, ask a friend or relative to join the call or take notes. A second set of ears makes it easier to compare what you were told later.

1. What needs to happen now, and what can wait?

Ask the funeral director to explain the next steps for your situation, including any deadlines and the reasons behind them. Then ask a narrower question: “Which decisions do you need from us today?”

That one question can keep the call focused. Most of what feels urgent in the first hours is not, and a good funeral director will tell you which parts can wait a day or two.

2. What services are available, and what do they cost?

You can ask about prices before deciding whether to use a funeral home at all. In the United States, the FTC’s Funeral Rule requires funeral providers to give you price information over the telephone when you ask, and you do not have to give your name, address, or phone number first. Read the FTC’s guidance on your rights.

If you are unsure what to request, start with: “Could you explain the options that fit our situation and the cost of each?” If you visit in person, the funeral home must give you a written General Price List that is yours to keep.

You do not need to apologize for asking about money. A budget is a practical part of making arrangements, and funeral directors hear the question every day.

3. What is included in that price?

Ask what the quoted amount covers and which expenses would be additional. The FTC recommends asking what is included in the price whenever you ask a funeral home about a specific service, so that you compare like with like. See the FTC’s advice on comparing funeral services by phone or online.

Try asking: “Are there other charges we should expect, including anything paid to another provider?” Cemetery fees, the obituary notice, flowers, and clergy or celebrant fees are often paid to someone other than the funeral home, and a good estimate will say so.

Write down the answer. If you speak with another funeral home, you will be able to compare the same services rather than two different lists.

4. Can you accommodate the wishes that matter to us?

Perhaps your family needs a particular religious observance, a quiet gathering, or help coordinating relatives who live far away. Explain what matters and ask what is possible. If the person who died left wishes, you can use those as a starting point.

You do not need to settle every detail during this conversation. It is enough to learn whether this funeral home can do what your family needs, and roughly what that would involve.

5. Who should we contact with follow-up questions?

Before ending the call, ask for the person’s name, direct contact details, and when they are available. You can also ask: “Could you send me a summary of what we discussed and anything we need to do next?”

Having something written to refer to makes the next conversation easier, and it gives the rest of your family a way to catch up without repeating the call.

If the conversation feels overwhelming

You can ask the person to slow down, explain a term, or repeat a price. You can ask for a moment to write something down. Try: “I’m taking in a lot of information. Could we go over the next step once more?”

You deserve explanations you can understand. If you do not get them, that is useful information about the funeral home, too.

What you can do next

For now, write down the three questions that matter most to you. Let those be the starting point for your call. Everything else can follow once you know what needs attention first.