Choosing a funeral home is usually one of the first decisions a family makes after a death, and often the one with the largest bill attached. You do not have to get it exactly right in an hour. A few questions, a written price list, and one side-by-side comparison will tell you most of what you need to know.
This guide is about the choosing itself. If you are about to make the very first phone call, the guide What to Ask a Funeral Home walks through that conversation; this one is about deciding between providers once you have spoken to them.
Ask for the General Price List first
Every funeral home must give you a written, itemized General Price List, and it is yours to keep. Under the FTC’s Funeral Rule you can also get prices over the telephone, and you do not have to give your name, address, or telephone number first. Read the FTC’s summary of your rights.
Ask for the list before you talk about anything else. A funeral home that produces it readily is following the law and respecting your right to compare. One that changes the subject, or asks you to come in first, has told you something useful.
You can buy only what you want
The Funeral Rule also gives you the right to buy separate goods and services rather than a package. A funeral home may offer bundles, but it cannot require one. If a casket or urn from another seller is what your family wants, the funeral home cannot refuse to handle it and cannot charge you a fee for doing so.
Compare at least two funeral homes
Prices for the same service can differ a great deal within one town. The FTC suggests making a list of several funeral homes to contact, because similar services and items are often available for a lower price when you compare. See the FTC’s advice on shopping by phone or online.
Compare the basic services fee first, since you will pay it anywhere. Then price only the items your family actually wants, not the package total, and ask what is included in each figure so that you are comparing the same things.
Visit if you can
If there is time, visit. You are looking for practical things: whether the rooms are clean and large enough for the gathering you have in mind, whether staff answer questions plainly, and whether you feel respected rather than steered. Notice how they respond when you say you are comparing providers.
Ask about the arrangements you have in mind
Whether your family wants a traditional burial, direct cremation, a green burial, or a service shaped by a particular faith, ask whether this funeral home has handled it before and what that involved. A provider who is honest about what they do rarely, or do not do at all, is easier to work with than one who says yes to everything.
If the person who died left written wishes or a prepaid plan, bring them. Ask how the funeral home will honor them, and what happens if a prepaid contract was written with a different provider.
Read what other families say, carefully
Reviews from other families can help, whether on Google, on PartingPoint listings, or by word of mouth. Read them for specifics, such as how the staff handled a mistake or whether the final bill matched the estimate, rather than star counts alone, and notice how the funeral home responds to criticism.
Signs worth slowing down for
Pressure to decide today, a reluctance to put prices in writing, or a suggestion that something optional is required by law are all reasons to pause. If you are told a service is required by law, it is fair to ask which law and to see it in writing.
What you can do next
Ask two funeral homes for their General Price Lists and put them side by side. Circle only the lines your family wants. That one comparison, done at the kitchen table, is the most useful hour you can spend on this decision.
Questions families ask
- Does a funeral home have to give me its prices before I commit?
Yes. Under the FTC’s Funeral Rule, a funeral home must give you price information over the telephone if you ask, without requiring your name or contact details, and must give you a written General Price List that is yours to keep when you ask in person. You can collect prices from several funeral homes before deciding on any of them. The FTC’s consumer guidance explains each right.
- Can I bring my own casket or urn?
Yes. The funeral provider cannot refuse to handle a casket or urn you bought online, at a local casket store, or somewhere else, and cannot charge you a fee for doing it. If a family member has already chosen one, or you have found one at a lower price, the funeral home you choose must work with it. The FTC lists this among your rights.
- How many funeral homes should I compare?
Two or three is usually enough to see the range. The FTC suggests making a list of several funeral homes to contact and comparing, since similar services and items are often available for less. Ask each one for the same items and confirm what is included in each price, and the comparison will be a fair one. See the FTC’s comparison-shopping advice.
Sources and references
These references support the guidance in this article. Each entry names the source and the date we checked it. Open the links for more detail, and confirm current requirements, availability, or costs with the relevant organization before relying on them.
- FTC — The Funeral Rule (consumer guidance) · checked
The funeral provider cannot refuse to handle a casket or urn you bought online, at a local casket store, or somewhere else — or charge you a fee to do it.
- FTC — Shopping for Funeral Services by Phone or Online · checked
Make a list of several funeral homes to contact. You may find similar services and items for a lower price if you comparison shop.